Our hearts have significant influence on our lives. Our emotions, while good and necessary are not absolute indicators of what we need to do. They signal what we need to do to make our lives better, but they cannot be allowed to rule the heart-brain connection. When the heart breaks its connection with the brain, we can stagnate from the flood of negative emotions that leave us feeling defeated. These emotional tsunamis can over run our lives, disrupting our balance and negating our ability to function positively and proactively.
Being overwhelmed is a primary example of a negative feeling that can be created when the heart is disconnected from the brain. One of the most common negative emotions that we will face, this feeling often results when the pressure caused by a person or situation seems too much to bear. Feeling overwhelmed is a signal that our hearts are experiencing massive amounts of energy, but are lacking an active outlet to release it. Being overwhelmed can be paralyzing, trapping us between an inability to face the given situation and an uncertainty of how to move forward or around the circumstance. The only way to appropriately combat this negative emotion is to reconnect to the brain, purposefully identifying the events or people which are causing your negative response. With a clear sense of your emotion’s cause, you can begin to address those issues and resolve the negative balance.
Another emotional avalanche that results when the heart is disconnected from the brain is a sense of indecision. This issue can manifest itself in two primary ways: a lack of focus overall or an inability to choose between two (or more) options. The first type of indecision surfaces most commonly in a vague sense of purpose (or lack thereof). It is the cause of someone struggling with what career to choose or what dream to pursue. They want to have a greater purpose, but “everything seems like a dead end, or an impossible choice.” Often based in fear, indecision keeps people from moving anywhere at all.
On the other hand, rather than a vague sense of lacking purpose, some people may struggle to make choices when presented with two or three clear options. They feel pulled in conflicting directions, wanting both options but unsure how to navigate the balance between these ideas.
This type of indecision is highly common in relationships: for example, one boy, two girls, and many sleepless nights spent trying to discern which one is the right one for him. He has lots in common with one girl, but he lacks a deeper connection with her. With the other girl, he has great chemistry, but lacks other areas of compatibility. So…which should he pursue? Friendship that might turn into love? Or lust that might settle into relationship? If he doesn’t find a solution to his dilemma quickly, the indecision that paralyzes him may actually end up costing him a chance with either girl.
For someone whose heart becomes totally disconnected, there are serious repercussions. Alcoholism and other destructive behaviors can result as people seek to fill the void they feel inside with something. And unfortunately, when this sense of disconnection does include other people, the consequences can be even more extreme. A lack of identity sends some people into relationships looking for intimacy. But they “seek emotionally intimate connections – even if it means negative emotions – to help fill this chronic feeling of emptiness.” At times, they may “create a conflict in order to feel more emotional intensity and connection (although this often serves to push a person away, which is the opposite of their intent.)