Healthy boundaries. It’s is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what exactly are healthy boundaries and how can we implement them in our lives? The answer lies in a simple metaphor that involves a cactus and a flower.
Imagine that you are a cactus and the people in your life are flowers. As a cactus, you thrive on lizard poop for food, love sunshine all year round, require only a thimble full of water, hate the shade, and prefer sand and rocks as your growing medium. On the other hand, your friend who is a flower might love composted leaves as their fertilizer, need soil rich in nutrients, enjoy four seasons, dislike direct sunlight, and love winter.
If you, as a cactus, were to start taking care of your friend’s garden by changing their environment to suit your needs and preferences, they would start to wither away. Similarly, if you’re constantly in other people’s gardens, you won’t have enough time to take care of your own, and eventually, you’ll start to wither away too.
The ideal relationship is often portrayed as taking care of each other, but that’s not a sustainable strategy. We can’t fully take care of other people’s gardens because we don’t know what they need or want. We can’t take care of our own garden if we’re always in other people’s gardens.
So how can we best help people if going into their garden is detrimental for them? The answer lies in healthy boundaries. It’s essential to take care of your garden first, and then you can meet people at the fence. Always make sure that you’re okay before you even meet someone at the fence. If you’re not okay, you might give bad advice or take on other people’s emotions.
The idea of healthy boundaries can be difficult to implement because we’re taught to show love and care by going into other people’s gardens. However, healthy boundaries promote the best way to interact with others that promotes their well-being as well as your well-being. When you take care of your garden first, you become a better version of yourself, and you’re better equipped to help others take care of their gardens.
In conclusion, healthy boundaries are essential in promoting well-being in all our interactions with others. Taking care of your garden first will help you become a better version of yourself, and you’ll be better equipped to help others. Remember, healthy boundaries are like a cactus and a flower – two different plants that require different things to thrive. By respecting each other’s boundaries, we can create a garden that is beautiful, thriving, and sustainable.