How to Increase Your Confidence - VanWyck Consulting

1. Knowing Yourself

Confidence begins with a simple concept: knowing yourself. Imagine speaking about something you’re well-versed in versus something you barely understand. Which scenario makes you feel more confident? It’s not about trying to manufacture confidence; it naturally stems from self-awareness.

But what exactly does it mean to “know yourself”?

There are various ways to achieve this. It might involve recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, taking personality tests, or keeping a journal to understand your thought processes and emotional responses. An even deeper connection can be established through a heart connection, where you engage in dialogue with your inner self, connecting to your higher self and subconscious. This practice helps you uncover what truly matters, what needs nurturing, and what needs support.

The heart connection is a powerful tool, and if you’re interested in learning how to do it, I have a guided visualization video on the topic.

Understanding your values is another critical component of knowing yourself. Identifying your core values gives you clarity and direction in life. I have an exercise that I do with my clients. I give them a list of a hundred different values, such as compassion, learning, affirmation, respect. I ask them to pick their top 10 and then further narrow them down to their top five, in order of priority. This exercise empowers them to make decisions aligned with your values, guiding you on the path you were meant to follow.

2. Taking Ownership of Your Decisions

Taking ownership of your decisions is the second pillar of confidence. Every day, we make choices, even the decision not to decide is, in fact, a choice. It’s crucial to recognize that not deciding is still a decision, and we must take responsibility for it.

Think of the word “should.” In many cases, it carries an undertone of fear, guilt, or shame. It doesn’t represent a decision; it’s disempowering.

To truly build confidence, we must reframe our language and take ownership. Instead of “I should,” say “I choose to” or “I choose not to.” Try it right now; feel the empowerment that comes with this simple shift in language.

Taking responsibility for your decisions isn’t about judging them. It’s about making choices consciously and ideally, from a place of love. Opt for love over fear, and you’ll find your decisions lead to more joyous outcomes. Even if you choose a path that seems miserable at times, as long as you own that choice, you’re on the right track.

3. Being Compassionate to Yourself

The third cornerstone of confidence is self-compassion. If you wish to be strong and confident, you must also be nurturing, supportive, and compassionate toward yourself.

Again, I recommend using the heart connection visualization. It’s a powerful practice that helps you treat yourself kindly. It becomes harder to berate yourself with negative self-talk when you’ve established a connection with your inner self. Take responsibility for your self-talk and shift it towards more encouraging, empowering, compassionate, and loving words. This transformation will steadily build your confidence.

It’s OK to be confident!

This kind of confidence doesn’t turn you into an arrogant, self-centered individual. On the contrary, it makes you a more loving, compassionate, grounded person who operates from a place of authenticity and strength. Picture yourself as a massive, unshakeable tree. Even when faced with the strongest winds, you remain resolute, not because you’re fighting the wind but because you are grounded in your own power.

These three aspects are crucial for building genuine, kind, and enduring confidence:

Knowing Yourself: Understand your strengths, weaknesses, and values.

Taking Ownership of Your Decisions: Be responsible for your choices and decide from a place of love.

Being Compassionate to Yourself: Shift your self-talk to be nurturing, empowering, and loving.

I hope you found these insights helpful on your journey to greater self-assurance. Please share your thoughts in the comments on my YouTube video or on Instagram. Thank you for reading, and take care.