Love: Where to Start

Two Wolves:

Everyone has two wolves, a kind loyal one that is called love, and a mean aggressive one that is called fear. The wolf that you feed the most will be the strongest one.

This week I want to focus on what your life is like right now. Which of your wolves is stronger? Which wolf do you feed more?

Smiling-Face-And-Sad-FaceThere is a research study that has a block of 100 faces. Ninety-nine (99) of the faces are smiling and only one (1) is angry. Guess which face participants noticed first? Researchers then switched it to 99 angry faces and one (1) smiling one, but many participants couldn’t find or didn’t notice the smiling face.

Why do you think this happens?

Well evolutionary psychologists think it’s because in order to survive, we have to be aware of what may harm us. We don’t have to be so aware of those pleasant things that don’t threaten our survival. Therefore, we are HARDWIRED to seek out those things that might be unpleasant. Hence, we naturally feed the wolf called fear instead of feeding the wolf called love. This can be especially true if you are big-hearted, gentle or sensitive. Since things can hurt you more deeply you may tend to be more vigilant to threats.

Well we don’t live among saber tooth tigers anymore… In fact, research has shown that the world is getting better! The violent rate is going down, world hunger is decreasing and literacy is increasing!

If you don’t want to be bullied by the wolf called fear then it’s time to stop feeding it.

Exercise:

Focus on all the kindness you see around you, perhaps it was that person that held the door open or someone giving money to a homeless person. Try to notice as many of these situations as you can (perhaps 10 a day).

P.S. If you want to know more about why bad things may affect you more than they do others, take my quiz, you might be really surprised!

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My book

If you have enjoyed this article and would like to take this journey further, check out my book The Good Thing About Mortar Shells: Choosing love over fear”.